nagging wife
The thing your girlfriend becomes after you forget her birthday, her dog’s birthday, and the day you first met her, all in the same week.
'I’m not mad. I’m just calculating how many times I’ve had to remind you about the anniversary.'
'If you don’t get me a gift, I’m going to take your beard and use it as a mop.'
'You forgot my birthday. I’m now your worst enemy. Also, your ex is back.'