nagao
A dumb fairy goat who thinks onions are magic and has no clue what life is. He also thinks you're a weirdo if you don't know how to eat an onion.
He told me I was a 'taiki' because I didn't eat onions like he did. I asked what a taiki was. He said 'You just are.'
He tried to eat an onion with a spoon. It was like watching a baby learn to walk.
He once cried over a burrito that was still frozen and already rotten. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen.