He showed up at my door with a can of Coke and said, 'I drank so much yesterday.' I asked, 'What does that mean?' He said, 'It means I’m a bird.'

He texted me, 'I’m coming to your house. Bring coffee.' I brought coffee. He brought coffee and a bird. I said, 'Why?' He said, 'I drank so much yesterday.'

I saw him at the park wearing a hat made of leaves. I said, 'You look like a bird.' He said, 'Damn. I drank so much yesterday.' I said, 'You’re a bird.' He said, 'No. I’m a man.'