mad dog shitting razor blades
When you're trying to get to the bottom of something and the other person keeps bringing up dumb stuff like they're trying to win a bet.
You: 'Why did you break my phone?' Them: 'I was trying to save your dog from a bear.'
You: 'Why did you cheat?' Them: 'I was trying to beat my brother at video games.'
You: 'Why are you so late?' Them: 'I was arguing with the traffic light.'