mad dog shitting razor blades
When someone is so busy avoiding the problem they're talking about it’s like they have a whole crew of dogs shitting razor blades in your path.
You: 'Why did you eat my lunch?' Them: 'I was trying to save my dog from a bear.'
You: 'Did you copy my homework?' Them: 'I was trying to win a bet with my mom.'
You: 'Why did you fail the test?' Them: 'I was arguing with the principal about my dog.'