Macterbation

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1 views · Added 8d ago · 6 definitions

1
Macterbation is when you get so obsessed with Apple stuff that you're basically drooling over your iPhone like it's the last piece of pizza in the world. You don't care about life, love, or your mom's cooking because you're too busy tweaking your MacBook Pro like it's your ex.
I just spent 8 hours figuring out why my iPhone won't charge. It's not a problem. It's a personal attack.
My iPad is more important than my girlfriend. She left me for a smartwatch.
I bought a MacBook Pro just to make my coffee better. It's not a stretch.
2
Macterbation is when you’re so deep in Apple products that you think your iPhone is your soulmate and your MacBook is your future. You’re basically living in the Apple Store and your friends think you’re mentally ill.
I dated my MacBook last night. It didn’t text me back.
I got a new iPhone and now I hate my old one. It’s like a breakup.
I bought a new iPad just to take a selfie. That’s how bad it is.
3
Macterbation is when you’re so into Apple stuff that you’re basically living in a bubble made of iPads and MacBooks. You don’t talk to people, you just stare at your screen like it’s going to save your life.
I skipped my job interview to fix my iPhone. I’m a mess.
I had a dream about my MacBook. It was weird.
I bought a new iPad and now I hate my old one. It’s like a divorce.
4
Macterbation is when you’re so into Apple stuff that you’ve basically turned into a walking iPhone ad. You’re always updating your software, buying new gadgets, and your friends think you’ve lost your mind.
I updated my iPhone and now I can’t text my mom. What even is life?
I bought a new MacBook just to look cool at coffee shops. It’s not a stretch.
I had a fight with my iPad. It didn’t apologize.
5
Macterbation is when you’re so obsessed with Apple stuff that you basically think your iPhone is the only thing that matters. You don’t care about your job, your friends, or your life because you’re too busy playing with your iPad like it’s a toy.
I skipped my birthday party to fix my iPhone. That’s how bad it is.
I got a new MacBook and now I hate my old one. It’s like a divorce.
I had a dream about my iPad. It was weird.
6
Macterbation is when you're so deep in Apple stuff that you think your iPhone is your best friend and your MacBook is your soulmate. You’re basically living in a world of apps and you don’t even notice when your friends leave.
I had a fight with my iPhone. It didn’t apologize.
I bought a new iPad just to take a selfie. That’s how bad it is.
I skipped my family dinner to update my MacBook. I’m a mess.
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