Mack Janning
He thinks he’s a king and loves shoving his junk into watermelons. He can’t walk past the fruit section in tescos without bonking something.
He texted me: 'I just had a watermelon climax in the middle of the aisle. The fruit people are watching me.'
He posted on Twitter: 'Watermelons are my crown. I rule the fruit aisle.'
His DM to his friend: 'I penetrated a watermelon so hard, it cried juice.'