machete

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15 views · Added 1mo ago · 7 definitions

1
A huge knife that came from Spain and is used for slicing up anything that gets in its way, like your face or your enemies.
My cousin brought a machete to a family reunion and cut the cake in half and my uncle’s nose off.
That guy at the park used a machete to slice up a bagel and then threatened me.
The machete was so big, it looked like it wanted to murder my breakfast.
2
A long, sharp knife that’s like a sword but for cutting up trees and people who don’t know how to fight.
The guy at the gas station had a machete and tried to cut my car in half.
My neighbor used a machete to chop down my tree and my hopes of a quiet life.
I saw a guy with a machete at the park and he looked like he wanted to fight my dad.
3
A big knife that’s so long, you could use it to beat up 10 guys in a parking lot and still have time for a snack.
That guy at the mall pulled out a machete and tried to fight 10 guys at once.
My brother used a machete to slice up my cousin and still had time to eat a sandwich.
The guy at the gym used a machete to cut through 10 guys like they were paper.
4
A metal chunk with a handle that could make your face look like a pancake if it wanted to.
That machete could cut my face in half and still have time for a coffee.
The guy with the machete looked like he wanted to turn me into a meatball.
I saw a guy with a machete and my face went pale like a ghost.
5
A big knife that guys use to cut up other guys and show off their big wangs in the most embarrassing way possible.
My brother used a machete to cut up his friend and showed off his big wangs like a boss.
The guy at the party used a machete to cut up his friend and everyone laughed at his wangs.
I saw a guy with a machete and his wangs looked like they were trying to escape.
6
When a guy is about to ejaculate and uses a machete to slap the girl in the face while he’s going at it.
That guy used a machete to slap the girl in the face while he was ejaculating.
I saw a guy use a machete to slap the girl in the face during his climax.
He used a machete to slap the girl in the face and then ejaculated on her face.
7
A long, sharp knife that’s bigger than a pen and can cut through grass, people, and your hopes for a quiet life.
The guy used a machete to cut through the grass and my hopes for a quiet life.
My brother used a machete to cut through the grass and my neighbor’s face.
That guy used a machete to cut through the grass and my mom’s patience.
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