Macdojo

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A gym that fights like it's going out of style but only cares about your wallet and how fake their instructors look.

I paid $100 a month and still can't punch a bag without crying.

My instructor claims he can beat Bruce Lee but he can't even beat my dog.

They sold me a membership and then forgot I existed.

A place where they promise you’ll be a ninja but you end up just being a sad guy who smells like sweat and regret.

They said I’d be a black belt in six months. I’m still stuck on yellow and I got a rash.

I fought a guy named ‘Rage’ and he cried when I won.

I paid for a ‘master class’ and got a guy who uses the word ‘flair’ wrong.

A gym that lies so much they think they’re in a movie and you’re just the extra who gets kicked in the gut.

They told me I’d be a champion. I got kicked out for missing three classes.

My instructor said he was a ‘warrior’ but he ran when I walked in.

They sold me a ‘lifetime membership’ and now I’m stuck there forever.