Mac friend
a buddy who shoves you into buying fancy computers with fancy software, and when it crashes, your friends are clueless and you're stuck with the buddy who sold you the trash, who's too busy eating donuts to help you.
My Mac friend told me it was the best thing since sliced bread. Now I'm stuck with a broken laptop and no help.
He said Macs never break. I got a fried screen and a broken keyboard.
I asked him for help, and he said, 'I'm busy eating a donut.'