Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

When you're so wasted you think a fire extinguisher is a soda can and you yell at the ceiling like it owes you money.

I shot my fridge and it didn't even flinch.

I tried to aim but my gun was pointing at my left foot the whole time.

I told my roommate I was going to war. He said, 'You're still wearing pajamas.'

2

When you're so high you think your dog is a cop and your toaster is a terrorist.

I fired at my dog and he just looked at me like I was crazy.

I thought my sister was trying to steal my snacks. I shot her. She was fine.

I yelled at my cereal. It didn't respond.

3

When you're so confused you think the grocery store is a battlefield and the clerk is a spy.

I tried to buy milk and ended up shooting the guy behind me.

I told the cashier I was on a mission. He gave me a coupon for a discount.

I thought the bread was a grenade and I ran out of the store screaming.

4

When you're so angry you think your neighbor is a gang member and your cat is a snitch.

I shot my neighbor's cat because it was watching me.

I told my mom I was going to jail. She said, 'You still didn't do your homework.'

I fired at my neighbor's car and missed. He waved at me like it was a greeting.

5

When you're so tired you think your bed is a bunker and your alarm is a missile.

I fired at my bed and it didn't even wake up.

I told my alarm clock I was going to war. It just kept beeping.

I thought my dog was attacking me. I shot him. He was just hungry.

6

When you're so loud you think the whole world is listening and your brother is your audience.

I yelled at my brother so loud the neighbors came out.

I told my brother I was a superhero. He said, 'You’re still wearing socks.'

I fired at the ceiling and it didn’t even flinch.