Bro just asked me if I wanted to go to the mall. I said no. He said, 'You’re gonna regret that.' I did. He was in my pants by lunch.

My crush is a m00c0w. He followed me to the grocery store and asked if I wanted a discount on chips. I said no. He said, 'I’ll take it.'

My little brother is a m00c0w. He asked my mom if he could go to the park with me. She said yes. He asked if he could go to my house. She said yes. He asked if he could go to my pants. She said no. He cried.