M. Swizzle Cheese

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A cheese-loving man who thinks he’s a god. He bakes like a madman and talks like he’s been hit by a pie.

M. Swizzle Cheese just walked into a bakery and asked for a pie that tastes like regret.

He told his dog he’s a baking legend and the dog looked at him like he was a bad pizza.

He texted me and said, 'I'm the king of cheese and you're just a peasant.'

This guy is so cheesey he probably dreams in cheese. He bakes like he’s been cursed by a bagel.

He tried to bake a cake and it exploded. No one knows why.

He called me a 'crustless wimp' and I didn’t know what that meant.

He sent me a DM that said, 'You're not a god, you're just a cheese snack.'

A man who thinks cheese is the best thing ever. He bakes like he’s trying to impress a pie.

He tried to make a pie and it looked like it was hit by a cheese truck.

He said, 'You’re not a god, you’re just a cheese snack.' And I didn’t know what that meant.

He called me a 'crustless wimp' and I didn’t know what that meant.