l.i-f/e

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It's like the universe handed you a gold-plated middle finger and said you're gonna shine like a motherfucker.

I woke up and my dog was wearing my pants. That's l. i-f/e.

My ex just texted me and said I was 'still cute'. That's l. i-f/e.

I ate a whole pizza and still had room for ice cream. That's l. i-f/e.

It’s when your life is so good it makes other people’s lives look like they got hit by a bus.

I got promoted and my boss said I was 'a legend in the making'. That's l. i-f/e.

I beat my little brother at video games and he cried. That's l. i-f/e.

I got free pizza and didn’t even have to pay. That's l. i-f/e.

It’s when life hands you a plate full of meatballs and you’re like, 'I’m gonna eat them all and then laugh in your face.'

I got a 100% on my math test and my teacher cried. That's l. i-f/e.

I stole my mom’s phone and sent a text to my dad that said 'I love you'. That's l. i-f/e.

I got to skip school and my friends were jealous. That's l. i-f/e.

It’s when you’re so good at life that you’re like a superhero with a side of snacks.

I aced my science project and my teacher gave me extra credit. That's l. i-f/e.

I got to ride a horse and it didn’t kick me. That's l. i-f/e.

I got a new video game and it was free. That's l. i-f/e.

It’s when life gives you a cookie and you say, 'I'm gonna eat this and then I'm gonna eat you.'

I beat my friend at chess and he said I was 'a genius'. That's l. i-f/e.

I got to eat dessert first and my brother cried. That's l. i-f/e.

I got a standing ovation for my dance routine. That's l. i-f/e.