I told my ex, 'You're still hot,' and he said, 'Thanks, but I'm with my girlfriend now.' I thought of 'She’s still hot, but she’s not you' too late.

I told my friend I wanted to be a chef, and he said, 'Cool,' and I thought of 'At least I don’t have to deal with your drama.'

I told my mom I wanted to move out, and she said, 'Fine,' and I realized I should’ve said, 'Fine, I’m leaving now.'