L.A.S.

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Lard ass syndrome is when your butt is so greasy it looks like it’s melting into a deep fryer.

My aunt has L. A. S. and she smells like a grease pit at a fast food joint.

He tried to run a marathon with L. A. S. and tripped into a burger sauce vat.

My dog has L. A. S. and he eats my pizza crusts for breakfast.

L. A. S. stands for Lovely At Sex, and it’s also the name of a cult that worships the power of a good creampie.

I joined L. A. S. and now I think my mom is a saint.

My crush is in L. A. S. and she can do the splits mid-lick.

My brother’s L. A. S. group meets in a laundromat.

L. A. S. is a secret society where people get high, have sex, and forget their problems like they’re on a drug-induced vacation.

My cousin got into L. A. S. and now he lives in a hotel wearing only socks.

I tried to join L. A. S. but I had to do a dance-off with a pizza delivery guy.

My mom’s L. A. S. group has a meeting every time the mailman comes.

L. A. S. is a school for rich brats who think they’re gonna be famous and don’t know what a real life is.

My cousin went to L. A. S. and now he thinks he’s a rockstar because he has a Louis Vuitton pencil case.

The kids at L. A. S. get drunk on wine and throw Chanel bags at each other.

My friend got sent to L. A. S. because he tried to rob a vending machine.

L. A. S. is Lazy Ass Slug, and that’s when you’re too tired to move after you’ve had a massive blow job.

After my date, I had L. A. S. and I fell asleep on a couch wearing only socks.

My brother had L. A. S. and he tried to walk home with a hot dog in his mouth.

My dog has L. A. S. and he lies on the floor like he’s dead.