lagunaesque

My ex broke up with me because I didn’t text him back during a group chat. Like, what even is life?

She started a rumor that I stole her boyfriend’s sandwich. It was a tuna sandwich. A TUNA SANDWICH.

My cousin’s ex came to my birthday party and cried in front of everyone. I didn’t even know they were exes.

My aunt’s dog got into my mom’s hair. Now they’re arguing about it like it’s the final round of American Idol.

My cousin’s boyfriend thinks my sister is his sister. He’s been trying to propose to her for two years.

My uncle started a fight with the mailman because the mail was late by ten minutes.

My brother’s best friend’s girlfriend’s mom’s pet parrot started a feud with my brother’s best friend’s girlfriend’s dad’s dog. It was a war of feathers and barks.

My cousin’s ex’s new boyfriend’s mom thinks I’m her daughter’s long-lost twin. I’m not. I have a tattoo of a cat on my arm.

My uncle’s cousin’s girlfriend’s dad’s brother’s best friend got into a fight over who had the better WiFi.