laggy as shit
Lag is so bad you think the person is being possessed by a slow computer. Their face looks like it's on a three-hour delay. It's so annoying you might throw your phone at them.
My brother’s face looked like it was stuck in a time machine. He said 'hi' and it took ten minutes to show up.
I tried to smile, but my face looked like it was frozen in a snowstorm.
He tried to talk, but his mouth moved like it was trying to escape a cage.