laggy as shit
Lag is so bad it feels like the person is being tortured by a slow internet. They move like they're being pulled by a turtle. You might just scream into your phone.
My dad looked like a turtle dragging his face across the screen. He said 'hello' and it took ten minutes for it to show up.
I tried to smile, but my face looked like it was stuck in a slow motion video.
He tried to talk, but it came out like a broken recorder.