lagergenic
When a drunk person thinks you're the most amazing person ever just because you're standing next to them and they've had three beers.
I said hi to a guy at the bar. He told me I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Then he threw up on my shoes.
She walked in and he started crying. He said, 'You're like my mom, but cooler and less judgmental.'
He asked me to marry him after one beer. I said yes. Then I remembered I was drunk too.