Lag Slag
The girl you call when you're too drunk or too lazy to find someone else. She’s not hot, but she doesn’t care because she doesn’t get laid much.
Lag Slag, I’m too drunk to find someone else. Just come over.
You’re the only one who’ll take me when I’m too lazy to be cool.
I’m too lazy to find a real girl. Lag Slag, I need you now.