lag ass

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A person who's always late to everything and never gets their shit done.

I told my buddy he'd be late, and he said 'I'm lag ass, I'm not even in the same time zone.'

My mom called me at 10 AM and I was still in bed, I'm a lag ass.

He missed the bus, the meeting, and his lunch because he's a lag ass.

When you’re in a different time zone, but your ass still thinks it’s in the old one, so you poop at the worst possible time.

I was on a plane and pooped right before the flight attendant came to check my seat.

I woke up at 7 AM, but my ass thought it was 2 AM and I had to poop in my pants.

I tried to sleep on the plane, but my ass wouldn’t stop pooping.

When you’re trying to fuck a girl in the ass and the lube runs out and you're just dry and it feels like you're getting fucked by a brick wall.

I tried to fuck her in the ass and it was like I was getting fucked by a brick wall.

He ran out of lube and it was like I was being stabbed by a piece of wood.

She screamed, 'Why are you dry? I'm not ready for that!'

When you're trying to fuck someone in the ass, and their ass is moving like it's got its own brain and won't match your rhythm.

I was trying to fuck her, but her ass was doing its own thing like it had a life of its own.

He was trying to fuck me, but my ass was like, 'Nope, not today.'

They tried to sync up, but her ass was lagging like it had a bad connection.