Laefer
Laefer is the guy who thinks he’s a therapist, a magician, and a salesman all in one. He’ll cry with you, laugh with you, and even yell at you if you don’t buy his wild ideas. He talks nonstop and thinks he’s the most important person in the room.
Laefer: 'I’m not just selling you a phone. I’m giving you a new life. And a pet lizard.'
Laefer: 'I’ve got a plan to change the world. It involves glitter, pizza, and karaoke.'
Laefer: 'I feel your pain. I feel your sadness. I feel your loneliness. I feel your hunger.'