LAD (Lazy Ass Disorder)

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3 views · Added 9d ago · 5 definitions

1
A person who’s so lazy they’d let their dog do their homework if they weren’t too busy napping.
Bro, I’ve been lying in bed for three days. I don’t even know what day it is.
I’m not coming to work today. I’m still mad I had to get out of bed.
I didn’t even brush my teeth. I just stared at the mirror like it owed me money.
2
A human who’d rather eat dirt than actually move their body or do something useful.
I’m not getting up. I’m too tired. I’m going to die in this bed.
I didn’t even feed my cat. I just yelled at it through the door.
I skipped breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I just ate a bag of chips while watching cat videos.
3
When someone is so lazy, they think standing up is a sport.
I got out of bed just to text you. I’m that lazy.
I didn’t even wash my hands. I just ate a sandwich with my fingers.
I sat on the floor instead of the couch. I’m trying to be a minimalist.
4
A person who would let their house burn down just to avoid getting up and putting out the fire.
I didn’t even turn on the lights. I’m too lazy for that.
I didn’t even take a shower. I just let my hair grow out like a bush.
I didn’t even answer the door. I just yelled at the mailman through the window.
5
A human who would rather die than actually do something useful or move.
I didn’t even get out of my pajamas. I just texted you while I was still in bed.
I didn’t even make my bed. I just stared at the ceiling like it was my enemy.
I didn’t even brush my teeth. I just smiled at the mirror like it was my friend.
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