lactose retarded
A person who acts like they're being tortured every time they eat something with milk in it.
He said he was lactose retarded, but I saw him drink a milkshake and laugh.
My friend is lactose retarded, but he still eats pizza every day.
She texted me: 'I'm lactose retarded and I hate life.' I said, 'So do I, but I still eat yogurt.'