Lachie O'Connored

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To be so wasted you black out and grab the lawn like it's the last thing holding you to Earth before you crash into the void.

Lachie O'Connored at the park and woke up in a ditch with a chipmunk staring at him.

He tried to dance on a table and ended up faceplanting into a bush.

His friends had to drag him home by his hair because he was screaming about aliens.

You're so trashed you pass out and think the grass is a safety net for your soul.

Lachie O'Connored at the bar and started talking to the ceiling like it was his ex.

He tried to ride a bike and ended up in a hedge like a confused rabbit.

His mom found him in the backyard wearing a sock on his head and crying about the moon.

So drunk you faint and hold on to the lawn like it’s the only thing keeping you from the abyss.

Lachie O'Connored at the party and tried to sing opera but just made a frog cry.

He passed out on the sidewalk and woke up thinking he was in a spaceship.

He tried to text his crush but sent a photo of a pizza and a dead raccoon.