labitard

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A person who’s smarter than a doorknob but dumber than a sack of bricks. They live between a real person and a waste of oxygen.

My cousin is a labitard. He thinks Friday is a day of the week, not a reason to drink all day.

My boss is a labitard. He tried to explain the internet like it was 1998.

My dog’s best friend is a labitard. He thinks the moon is made of cheese and that he’s a wizard.

A person who’s so average, they’re basically a human middle finger to everyone.

My labitard neighbor thinks he’s a rockstar. He sings in the shower and thinks everyone hears him.

My labitard teacher can’t spell ‘cat’ but thinks he’s the next Einstein.

My labitard friend took a photo of his lunch and called it ‘art’.

A person who’s not quite stupid, but not quite smart. They’re just there to make your life slightly worse.

My labitard brother thinks he’s a superhero. He wears a cape and fights imaginary enemies.

My labitard coworker thinks ‘texting’ is a new language.

My labitard friend thinks the sky is green because he once saw a green balloon.

A person who’s halfway between a genius and a disaster. They’re like a broken toaster, sometimes it works, sometimes it burns your bread.

My labitard friend tried to cook dinner and ended up burning the house down.

My labitard mom thinks she’s a chef. She once tried to make a cake and it looked like a science experiment.

My labitard uncle thinks he’s a magician. He tried to pull a rabbit out of a hat and it just fell on the floor.

A person who’s so ordinary, they’re basically a human background character in the story of life.

My labitard friend works at a coffee shop and thinks he’s a barista extraordinaire.

My labitard neighbor thinks he’s a detective. He watches crime shows and thinks he can solve every mystery.

My labitard brother tried to start a band and called it ‘The Average People’.