My cousin hit on my sister. I told him she was taken. He said he’d take her. I said, 'You don’t know what you’re getting into.' He did. Now he’s in the hospital.

My best friend broke up with me. I didn’t take it well. I told her I’d get her back. I did. She’s now my girlfriend again.

I asked my brother for a loan. He said no. I said no means I’m gonna beat him up until he says yes.