LA vampire

She partied till 4 AM and slept through my text. I texted her 10 times. She replied once. It was a selfie.

She showed up to class with bags under her eyes and a hairbrush in her hand. I asked if she was alive. She said, 'I’m a vampire. I need to feed.'

Her mom called and said, 'If she doesn’t stop drinking, I’m going to lock her in the basement with my ex.'

She said, 'I’d rather be dead than go to school today.' I said, 'You already are.'

She missed her own birthday party because she was too wasted to remember it.

She told her teacher, 'I’m not coming to class. I’m doing vampire stuff.' The teacher said, 'You’re not a vampire. You’re a disaster.'

She texted me, 'I’m going to a club. Don’t expect me to be awake tomorrow.' I said, 'I don’t expect you to be alive.'

She showed up to work with her hair dyed purple and her eyes bloodshot. Her boss said, 'You look like a zombie.' She said, 'I’m a vampire. I’m just on a break.'

She tried to do a TikTok challenge and fell asleep halfway through. Her video was just her snoring. It had 10 likes and 2 comments: 'This is the best vampire video ever.' and 'She needs to die.'