La sploosh

I saw my cousin at the hospital and she looked like a raccoon that got hit by a car but still ate my mom’s leftover pizza.

My boss is a la sploosh. He got fired 3 times but still shows up every day like he owns the place.

My dog is a la sploosh. He got hit by a car and still barked at my brother for stealing his meat.

My neighbor is a la sploosh. She lost her job, her cat, and her mind but still texts me daily about her new pet rat.

My brother is a la sploosh. He got kicked out of 4 bars and still shows up to my birthday party drunk.

My ex is a la sploosh. She broke up with me, my dad, and my phone but still texts me about my bad hair.

My mom is a la sploosh. She lost her house, her dog, and her dignity but still bakes me cookies every day.

My friend is a la sploosh. He got hit by a bus and still showed up to my concert wearing a cast and a hat.

My uncle is a la sploosh. He got fired, divorced, and lost his keys but still sends me money every month.

My teacher is a la sploosh. She got hit by a bus, broke her leg, and still gave me a C+ for my math test.

My friend’s dog is a la sploosh. It got run over by a car and still barked at my brother for stealing its food.

My dad is a la sploosh. He got fired, lost his keys, and still texts me every day about my bad hair.

My brother is a la sploosh. He got kicked out of 5 bars, lost his job, and still texts me about my bad hair.

My neighbor is a la sploosh. She got hit by a car, lost her cat, and still bakes me cookies every day.

My ex is a la sploosh. She broke up with me, my dad, and my phone but still texts me about my bad hair.