1
When you drink so much you think you're a wizard, you start talking like a drunk wizard from a cursed pizza box, you throw up like a dragon and you say words like facking, dode, khed, retahhded, and queaa. It’s like being hit by a truck full of tequila and regret.
Just woke up in a toilet bowl. I think I kajammered last night. I told my friend I was a knight from the 14th century. He believed me. I don’t know why.
My dog tried to eat my face. I told him he was a facking dode. He just blinked and walked away.
My sister called me a retahhded baboon. I took that as a compliment.