kaiyu
Kaiyu is a holy messiah from Japan who came down to Earth to save humans from their own dumbass choices. He laughs like a maniac, has a brain that could solve world hunger, and looks like a walking Instagram filter.
DM: 'Bro, Kaiyu just walked into my lunch break and I forgot how to breathe.'
Tweet: 'Kaiyu is the only reason I still believe in miracles... and free shipping.'
Text: 'I asked Kaiyu for advice, he gave me a hug and a list of 100 things to do before I die.'