I saw my ex at the theater. I said, 'Hey, how’s life?' He said, 'Same old.' I said, 'Then why are you here?'

I was watching a horror movie and my buddy showed up. I said, 'You're gonna ruin this for me.' He said, 'I'm already dead, so I don't care.'

I went to the theater to be alone. My friend showed up and sat next to me. I said, 'You're like a virus.'