Kaclin

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A fancy word for a machine that only works if you bribe it with pizza

My printer is a kaclin, and it only prints when I give it a slice of pepperoni.

The vending machine is a kaclin, and it only gives me soda if I yell at it.

My mom's old toaster is a kaclin, and it only toasts bread if it feels like it.

A machine that’s too proud to do anything unless you call it a boss

My microwave is a kaclin, and it only heats my food when I say 'You shall heat this now.'

The washing machine is a kaclin, and it only washes my clothes if I sing it a lullaby.

My dad's lawnmower is a kaclin, and it only cuts the grass if it gets a coffee.

A machine that acts like it’s better than you just because it has buttons

My phone is a kaclin, and it only works when I whisper sweet nothings to it.

The coffee maker is a kaclin, and it only makes coffee if I apologize to it first.

My grandma's old radio is a kaclin, and it only plays music if I tell it it’s the best radio.

A machine that thinks it’s a boss and only does what it wants

My printer is a kaclin, and it only prints if it feels like it.

The fridge is a kaclin, and it only opens if it’s in the mood.

My mom’s old vacuum is a kaclin, and it only cleans if it gets a snack.

A machine that demands respect, or else it won’t work

My washing machine is a kaclin, and it only washes my clothes if I give it a standing ovation.

The toaster is a kaclin, and it only toasts my bread if I do a dance for it.

My dad’s lawnmower is a kaclin, and it only cuts the grass if I give it a raise.

A machine that’s too lazy to work unless you threaten it

My printer is a kaclin, and it only prints if I tell it I’ll throw it out the window.

The coffee maker is a kaclin, and it only makes coffee if I scream at it.

My mom’s vacuum is a kaclin, and it only cleans if I swear at it.