Kabbalah
A bunch of old Jewish guys trying to figure out why the world is so messed up, later stolen by Christians who thought it was a magical spell book.
My grandpa says Kabbalah is just a bunch of old guys arguing about the meaning of life over tea and bad decisions.
The Christians took it and added unicorns. Now it's called 'the magic of the universe' and costs $500 a month.
Real magicians don't charge $100 for a 5-minute reading. Kabbalists do.