Jackpot of Jack Squat

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1
Zilch. Nada. The gift that keeps on giving but also gives nothing.
You got a free pizza. It was expired and had mold. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
He said he’d pay for the trip. Then he showed up with a broken wallet and a sob story. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
She promised a surprise party. It was just her mom and a single balloon. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
2
The worst kind of nothing. Like a nothing that’s trying too hard to be something.
You won a contest. The prize was a coupon for a discount on a broken toaster. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
He gave you a job. It was a job you had to do at 3 a. m. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
They said you’d get a new car. It was a car that smelled like a used shoe store. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
3
The kind of nothing that makes you question your whole life.
You got a promotion. It was to a job that paid less and had more work. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
She told you she’d help you move. She showed up with a backpack and a bad attitude. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
He said he’d take you out. He took you to a diner that only served meatloaf. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
4
Nothing so bad it might as well be a curse.
You got a free ticket. It was to a movie that was in black and white and had no sound. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
He gave you a raise. It was a raise that made you work twice as hard. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
They said you’d get a bonus. It was a bonus that was just a coupon for a discount. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
5
The kind of nothing that hits you like a brick and then laughs at you.
You won the lottery. The prize was $5 and a coupon. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
She told you she’d cook dinner. She burned the bread and forgot the meat. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
He said he’d take you on a vacation. He took you to a hotel with no beds. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
6
The worst kind of nothing. Like when nothing is trying to be the best at being nothing.
You got a new phone. It had no signal and only worked when you screamed at it. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
He promised a party. It was just him and a bad joke. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
They said you’d get a gift. It was a gift that was broken and smelled like old socks. Jackpot of Jack Squat.
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