jacking off in a corner
When a person vanishes like a fart in a hurricane during something important, and everyone just assumes they're taking a solo trip to the bathroom to jerk off in a corner.
Why'd you leave the meeting? I was about to say something important.
He vanished right before the big presentation. I swear he was hiding in the supply closet.
She disappeared mid-conversation. We all know she was getting her rocks off in the hallway.