Jackie Howard

Jackie just stared me down and said, 'You ain't from around here, are you?' I said no. He said, 'Good. Now get outta my way.'

He was sitting on his porch, eating a sandwich, and when I walked by, he said, 'That’s the best you can do?' I said, 'That’s the best I got.'

At the gas station, Jackie yelled at the clerk for not giving him enough chips. The clerk said, 'I gave you the full bag.' Jackie said, 'You gave me the full bag of garbage.'

Jackie came out of nowhere and told me, 'You’re blocking my view. Move it or lose it.' I moved it. He didn’t lose it.

He walked into the diner and said, 'I want my usual, and I want it now.' The waitress said, 'You always say that.' He said, 'That’s because it’s true.'

Jackie saw my car and said, 'That’s a nice car. Too bad it ain't mine.' I said, 'It’s not yours?' He said, 'Not yet.'

Jackie pulled up in his truck and said, 'I saw you talking trash about me.' I said, 'I was just saying you were loud.' He said, 'Loud? I’m legendary.'

At the grocery store, Jackie yelled at the cashier for not giving him enough candy. The cashier said, 'You get more candy than anyone else.' Jackie said, 'That’s because I pay for it.'

He was walking down the street, and I said, 'You’re pretty famous.' He said, 'I’m not just famous, I’m the whole damn town.'