Jackal-Man
A gross dude who lives on IRC and eats like a pig all day. He'll eat three sandwiches, a bag of chips, and a whole pizza before noon.
Text: 'Jackal-Man just ate a whole pizza at 11 a. m. I'm horrified.'
Tweet: 'Why does Jackal-Man eat so much? He's like a walking food truck.'
IRC: 'Jackal-Man is eating again. I can smell the chips.'