jack the beanstalk - When you’re taking so long to finish your wank, you might as

When you’re taking so long to finish your wank, you might as well be doing it on a treadmill.

I was doing Jack the Beanstalk for 10 minutes and still had time to text my crush.

My brother said he did it so slow, his mom walked in on him.

I did it so slow, my phone died and I still wasn’t done.