Jack Purvis
A giant penguin that waddles like a drunk man. Has a head the size of a dinner plate and a body that looks like it was hit by a truck. His balls are big enough to choke a horse, but his cock is tiny like a raisin.
I saw Jack Purvis at the mall and he looked like he just walked out of a dumpster fire.
My friend tried to flirt with Jack Purvis and got rejected harder than a fat kid at a candy store.
Jack Purvis waddled past me and I swear his head was about to pop off.