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You smear poop on a popsicle stick, freeze it, then jerk off on it, and hand it to your crush like it's a love letter from hell.
I just gave my crush a Jack Poopsicle. They’re either gonna cry or laugh. Probably both.
My crush got a Jack Poopsicle. I think they’re gonna throw up.
I sent my crush a Jack Poopsicle. They said it was the best thing they’ve ever had.