jack mormon

A Mormon who claims to be one, but never shows up to church, never prays, and never stops drinking, smoking, or getting it on before marriage. They still say they believe in the church, but only when it’s convenient.

A kid who grew up in a Mormon family, but finally saw through the Bull-Shit and chose the real world over polygamy and compound living. They might still say they believe in God, but they’re not fooling anyone.

A lazy Mormon who doesn’t go to church, doesn’t follow the rules, and spends most of their time getting wasted or getting it on. They might be from Vegas, but they’re definitely not from the good parts.

A person who was born into a Mormon family, but they never really got with the program. They might believe in some stuff, but they also drink, smoke, and do their own thing. They’re like the quiet rebel of the church.

A fake Mormon who hangs out with real Mormons, but doesn’t do anything the church says. They might go to church sometimes, but only when they feel like it. They’re the church’s best friend, but also its biggest disappointment.

A Mormon who’s technically a member, but they never go to church, never follow the rules, and spend most of their time getting wasted or getting it on. They’re the reason Utah has a high rate of alcoholism.

A person who was born into the Mormon faith, but they’re too busy getting drunk and getting it on to actually follow the church. They might still believe in God, but they’re definitely not following the rules.