Jacapo
Jacapo is a fat, lazy Italian who thinks he's the bad guy. He’s obsessed with Jasmine, a blonde who’s probably way better than him.
Jacapo: 'Jasmine is my soulmate. My destiny. My everything.'
Jacapo stares at his photo and yells, 'I was meant for greatness.'
Jacapo texts Sadie: 'I’m not lazy. I’m just fat.'