Jacapo - Jacapo is a fat Italian guy who thinks he’s a bad guy. He’s

Jacapo is a fat Italian guy who thinks he’s a bad guy. He’s always dreaming about Jasmine, a hot blonde who’s probably way better than him.

Jacapo: 'Jasmine is my destiny. My purpose.'

Jacapo texts Jasmine: 'I’m fat. I’m lazy. I’m your destiny.'

Jacapo stares at his photo and yells, 'I could’ve been a legend!'