Jabroned
Your best friend. Also, the word for a guy who farts in the bathtub and laughs at his own stink.
My best friend told me he’s going to be a rockstar and then he said, 'I can’t sing, but I can dance.'
He called me to tell me he found a new job and then said, 'I don’t know what I do.'
He told me he’s a scientist and then he said, 'I like cookies.'