jabba the yabe

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a fat native american grandma who sits in the corner and stares at drunks like they owe her money.

She was watching the drunk guy eat a whole pizza by himself. 'You’re gonna regret that later,' she said.

At the bar, she just sat there, eyes wide, like she’d seen the devil before.

She texted me: 'That guy is gonna throw up on the floor again.'

a sagging, snoring native american woman who shows up at every party and judges the drunks like they’re her kids.

She showed up at the party and said, 'You’re all acting like you’ve never seen alcohol before.'

She sat next to me and said, 'That guy’s gonna end up in jail.'

She texted me: 'I saw your cousin at the bar. He’s gonna get a tattoo.'

a full-on native american woman who looks like she’s been eating all day and is ready to tell the drunks off.

She showed up at the bar and said, 'You all are gonna regret this.'

She was sitting there, eating a whole cake, and said, 'You’re all going to pass out soon.'

She messaged me: 'That guy is gonna throw up on the floor again.'