j-wife
A J-wife is a fake Japanese wife that people use as an excuse for being dumb online. It's like having a co-conspirator in your dumbness.
My J-wife said I was sick. I wasn’t. She was. I was sick of her being sick.
I told my J-wife I was at the store. She told me she was at the store. We both went to the store. We both came back empty-handed.
My J-wife said I was lazy. I was lazy. She was lazy. We both were lazy.