j-mats
J-mats are the only thing that can make you forget your problems. Real J-mats don’t include movies with Jessica Alba, those are just there to trick you into thinking you’re getting laid.
I tried to get off to a Jessica Alba movie and ended up with a stiffy and a lot of regret.
My friend thought he was getting a real J-mat, but it turned out to be a movie and a half.
I watched a movie with Anna Paquin and still needed a real J-mat to finish the job.