i'm late

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3 views · Added 2d ago · 3 definitions

1
the worst thing a man can hear, and it makes you want to run away and hide in a dumpster
I'm late? You're pregnant? I'm not running from a dumpster, I'm running from a baby!
I'm late? I'm not late, I'm just deciding if I want to be a dad or a dead man.
I'm late? That's not just late, that's a full-blown emergency.
2
the easiest way to tell your guy you're pregnant, and it sounds like you're trying to kill him
I'm late. You're going to die if I don't get a baby soon.
I'm late. That’s not a phase, that’s a full-blown pregnancy.
I'm late. I'm not late, I'm just waiting for you to start crying.
3
you missed a day, so you're just saying it like it's the end of the world
I missed a day. I'm not just late, I'm officially dead.
I missed a day. That’s not just a missed day, that’s a missed life.
I missed a day. I'm not gay, I'm just pretending to be.
xs