i'm late

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the worst thing a man can hear, and it makes you want to run away and hide in a dumpster

I'm late? You're pregnant? I'm not running from a dumpster, I'm running from a baby!

I'm late? I'm not late, I'm just deciding if I want to be a dad or a dead man.

I'm late? That's not just late, that's a full-blown emergency.

the easiest way to tell your guy you're pregnant, and it sounds like you're trying to kill him

I'm late. You're going to die if I don't get a baby soon.

I'm late. That’s not a phase, that’s a full-blown pregnancy.

I'm late. I'm not late, I'm just waiting for you to start crying.

you missed a day, so you're just saying it like it's the end of the world

I missed a day. I'm not just late, I'm officially dead.

I missed a day. That’s not just a missed day, that’s a missed life.

I missed a day. I'm not gay, I'm just pretending to be.